Rinse & Repeat Offenders

About

Everyone has an opinion about how to load the dishwasher. Now the dishwasher has one too. Rinse & Repeat Offenders is a cheeky puzzle game about the one household argument nobody wins. A passive-aggressive dishwasher with a face judges every dish you rack. Get it right and it grudgingly sparkles. Get it wrong and it tells you, in as few words as possible. Make the same mistake twice and you're a repeat offender. HOW TO PLAY • Tap the dish in your hand to turn it: up, down, or on a diagonal for bowls and pots. • Drag it onto the top rack, the bottom rack, the cutlery basket or the sink. • Leftovers go in the compost bin first, then a rinse in the sink, then into the rack. • When the pile is empty, run the wash and see what comes out. RACKS THAT WORK LIKE THE REAL THING Cup holders along the top, a middle row for bowls and containers, open spots and tilted plate slots below, and a cutlery basket in the corner. Mugs go upside down or they come out full of dishwater. Plates stand up. Knives go blade down. Plastic stays well away from the heating element. Wooden boards, cast iron and your good chef's knife belong in the sink. INSTANT, UNSOLICITED FEEDBACK Every placement is judged on the spot: sparkles or a stink cloud, a withering one-liner, and a ghost showing where the dish should have gone. Put it right before the wash and all is forgiven. Leave it and it comes out exactly as filthy as it went in. THE VERDICT Every load ends with a stamp: SPOTLESS, PAROLED or REPEAT OFFENDER. Then comes a police line-up of the offenders and a charge sheet spelling out exactly what each one did, and where it should have gone. TWO WAYS TO PLAY • Redemption: pack it properly. The dishwasher warms to you, slowly and against its will. • Menace: pack it as badly as humanly possible. The dishwasher begs, then cries. THE HALL OF SHAME A gallery of the classic crimes, each one animated: a mug filling with soup, a plate having a nap, a knife pointing at the ceiling, plastic melting on the bottom rack, a wooden board cracking, cast iron rusting and a chef's knife going blunt. Tap a card to see how it should have been done. OVER 400 LINES OF SNARK The dishwasher remembers what it has already said, so it rarely repeats itself. It escalates, too: a first offence gets a raised eyebrow, a second gets sarcasm, and a habit gets a lecture. Perfect for settling the family argument about who loads the dishwasher properly. Or for starting a new one.